I recently unboxed some of the early media accounts of my life as an openly gay AIDS activist in Kansas City.  The very first words in the very first article ever written about me as an activist proclaim:  “Jon D. Barnett is an angry young man.”

That anger served me well as fuel for many years of social activism, though it ultimately took a toll in burnout and poor health.

Nearly ten years later, when I was diagnosed as HIV-positive, my world tail-spinned and I withdrew socially for nearly a decade.  The anger that once drove me was now directed internally against an invisible—and supposedly invincible—enemy.

It was only after the life-changing experience of quitting all pharmaceutical drugs in 2007 that I began to work my way out of my drug induced, self-imposed exile.

While questioning the wisdom of committing to a lifetime of AIDS drugs may be controversial, it is not crazy and there is definitely no malicious intent in telling my story.  I simply cannot have the life experiences I have had and keep them to myself.

One would think from some of the reactions I’ve gotten from readers, viewers and even personal friends lately that I am trying to hurt people, though nothing could be further from the truth.

A couple of weeks ago, as I sat across the table from a friend I’ve known for decades, I felt his hurt and his anger as he challenged me for suggesting that it may not be necessary for everyone to take ARVs for life to survive a positive HIV diagnosis. There is more to his story. His partner had just been brought back from the brink of death a few months ago after starting HAART.  He was a real-life example of the “Lazarus” effect.

Never mind that it takes HIV ten years or more to cause symptoms, ARVs are credited with restoring health in just a few months! I did not have adequate answers for all of my friends’ questions, nor did I feel that was my job.  What was important was that we discovered that we shared many of the same questions, though getting there took quite a bit of effort to overcome the misdirected anger and hurt first.

On my youtube page I have posted a video about the LOTTI study, which found that many positive people can successfully quit their drugs for long periods of time, and possibly even permanently. (I also blogged about the LOTTI study here). The video has received comments from some people involved in “AIDS education”, including a poz man from Portland, Oregon.

In a comment he has since deleted, youtuber gbfowler was apparently frightened enough by the notion of some people choosing to try a drug-free alternative path to recover their health that he felt compelled to counter the message of hope I had presented, warning others who might stumble upon the video that my views are “extreme” and that “99 percent of HIV docs and researchers disagree with [me].”  Of course, he is right on both accounts, but the question begs:  why did he feel it was so important to warn others of the obvious?

Yes, it made me angry that someone who makes their living pushing drugs onto other gay men would express only fear about any scientific information that offers hope to tens of thousands of gay men—many of them otherwise healthy—who are facing, or have already embraced a lifetime of chemotherapy.

Talk about extreme and dangerous ideas!

The gay community has developed a myopic view of AIDS in the last few decades, thanks in no small part to massive, well-funded marketing and “education” campaigns designed to convince us that we must give up natural sexual intimacy and instead embark on a lifetime of chemotherapy.  Self-funded, actually, as the  largest non-governmental supporters of most AIDS organizations in the U.S.—pharmaceutical companies—invest in these (marketing) agencies with their profits from AIDS patients, the vast majority of whom are gay men.

Why in the world would I want to challenge this image of the modern pill-popping, disease ridden, latex wrapped gay man?! (sarcasm, for those who need to be told).

Talking to a television reporting at an ACT UP/KC demonstration outside the FDA, demanding faster access to AIDS drugs, circa 1989.

Despite what some gay men seem to think, I am not the enemy and if my story or my writing makes some of you feel that I am, it may be a good indication that our communal psyche has been fucked with.  I have a long history of fighting for my community. I will continue to fight for gay men until they put my ashes in the ground, which I hope will be a few more decades yet.

There was a time when I organized die-ins to demand faster access to unproven drugs.  I picketed the Circle K convenience store that denied health insurance to a PWA—by myself—before founding ACT UP in Kansas City. I ran the first campaign as an openly gay candidate for city council.  I co-founded the organization that worked to pass a gay rights law in Kansas City, served as regional editor of one of the largest lesbian and gay news publications in the Midwest, and have received recognition for leadership in my community.

I realize that all of this must sound boastful, and yes, I am proud of my life and my accomplishments.  My point though is that I have a lifetime record of promoting and advancing the gay community, not hurting it.

Covering an ACT UP demonstration for the News-Telegraph, a regional gay newspaper,  in the early 1990s.

I have paid my dues and I have earned my props.  I am not only entitled to share what I’ve discovered since my own HIV-diagnosis in 1998, I am obligated to do so.  I have faced down threats to my safety, to my livelihood and to my health.

I am appalled and distressed by the lemming-like behavior of my own community and wonder why and when did we stop challenging the establishment?  I do not stand in judgment of others, because it is obvious I have been a lemming in the past too.

I will spend the next stage of my life trying to advance a new message to the gay community.  We cannot accept the current terms of the Final Solution, as spelled out by one of the largest segments of the U.S. economy—the pharmaceutical industry and its allies in government and social agencies.

Are we really for sale so cheaply?

I am constantly rethinking my views and my beliefs, and I assume others do so as well. When I was a  teenager, I had a religious experience in the Jesus movement commonly referred to as “born again.” When I came out of the closet as a gay man a few years later, I was born again. Again. Since then I have been reborn more times—mentally, spiritually and emotionally—than I can count, and I hope I continue to be open-minded to new ideas and ways of thinking and believing.

I did not come to this place called AIDS dissidence easily or smoothly.  It is not a particularly fun or easy place to be.  It is not even really a place at all.  It is more like an anti-place… a not-place to be.  It is all of the space that exists outside of the AIDS meme.  (Note:  the link may be irreverent, but it does a good job of capturing just a few of the reasons I refer to a “meme” here.)

Lately I find myself struggling to find ways to break through the (fear of) death culture that has snared the gay community the last few decades. Not since I was a teenager have I felt so alone and lonely in how I think and how I feel. Unlike those years, thanks to the Internet I have managed to make contact with a handful of gay men who walk a similar path.

The anger in my life has never completely subsided, it has just morphed into a different form of energy as I’ve learned to co-exist with it in ways that do not consume me.  I hope I have learned to conserve my energy and to focus it more intensely where it is needed, as I no longer wish to be a flamethrower, preferring to strive instead to be a torch.

That some people find my words and my work to be dangerous and threatening is reason enough for me to keep thinking and writing and speaking out. I am not trying to burn down the house; I am trying to cut the lock off the prison door.

Startling similarities when comparing micrographs of budding HIV and budding HERVs.

Could it be that we are getting closer to a (more) unified alternative explanation for what causes “AIDS”?  There are several recently published articles, as well as conversations between the authors, that just may prove to be the impetus for such a epiphany.

This is not about some startling new discovery.  It is the work of lay people wading through the scientific literature and gleaning and assembling already documented knowledge and information in ways that most orthodox scientists simply seem incapable of doing.

Most recently, Liam Scheff has published another great piece of writing, How AIDS Didn’t Become a Kissing Disease, which further challenges the mainstream explanation for AIDS.

In the article, Scheff presents official government definitions for what retroviruses are as he wanders through the history of “HIV”.  He notes  Matthew Gonda’s discovery of “HIV” in the saliva of healthy and ill gay men in the 1980s, though no self-respecting AIDS risk reduction educator today would suggest that HIV can be transmitted by kissing or even oral sex.  Gonda incidentally co-authored scientific articles with the now discredited discoverer of HTLVIII/LAV/HIV, Robert Gallo.

The article concludes that what Gallo and others were seeing are actually Human endogenous retroviruses, or HERVs; self-made cellular messengers that our bodies create in reaction to stressors and toxins, the same way scientists create them in the lab.  Scheff suggests that nutritional responses can suppress the expression of HERVs.

Other writers have written about issues of gut dysfunction and exposure to toxins that are entirely compatible with the theory that HIV is a HERV.  What remains to be done, in my personal opinion, is to tie these various perspectives together and to present a unified alternative theory of AIDS that can be understood by a fifth grader.

Until that happens, those readers who are struggling to understand the significance of a positive test result owe it to themselves to read the collection of writings by Schell and Cal Crilly at reducetheburden.org, as well as the essential and related information contained in Tony Lance’s paper, Gay Related Intestinal Dysbiosis.  It really isn’t that difficult to make the connections for oneself, but it does take some time and effort and for most people, it also requires some de-programming to allow the mind to accept new information.

As an Affected gay man, I struggle mightily to explain what I’ve learned to friends and others who find themselves in a similar situation.  That job is nigh-impossible as long as people remain uninformed and in the dark.  When I worked for the New-Telegraph in the 1980s and 1990s, the masthead read:  “Knowledge is Power”.  Nothing could be truer today.

Tony Lance

I’ve gotten to know Tony Lance personally the last few months. The more we visit, the more things we seem to discover we share in common.

Both of us are gay men who came out just before, or in the very earliest years of the Gay Plague.

We are both “poz” and living without taking any antiretroviral (ARV) drugs.  We are both dissidents from the mainstream theory of AIDS.

Each of us has a history of writing and editing.

We make our own home made sauerkraut to help boost our gut health. We are interested in beekeeping, though Tony is much farther along in that adventure than I am.

I got to know Tony better after he agreed join the new QuestioningAIDS team earlier this year.  QA has quickly become one of the top-ranked AIDS dissident websites, with a very active dissident discussion forum.

At the RethinkingAIDS 2009 conference last fall (which I was unable to attend), Tony presented his hypothesis that the immune failure known as “AIDS” in the gay male community may actually be caused by damage to the intestinal flora due to common sexual and hygiene practices, such as rectal douching and the use of some sexual lubricants, as well as the high rate of antibiotic abuse in some subsets of gay men.

Though I had previously read Tony’s  paper GRID: Gay Related Intestinal Dysbiosis, I had not heard some aspects of his personal story, until I viewed recently posted videos of his presentation.If you can’t tell by now, I really like Tony and think highly of how he thinks, writes and now I’ve discovered that I like the way he speaks in the videos below.

I’m posting all three videos  here because I believe it is important to reach other gay men about some of the potentially dangerous practices that we are not hearing about from the AIDS service organizations in our communities.  In our personal conversations, Tony and I have also agreed that it is important and urgent for those of us “affected” by the illness to take leading roles in the AIDS dissidence movement.

Thank you Tony, for being willing to overcome your personal discomfort to become such an articulate and visible spokesperson for all of us.

(Note: The PowerPoint slides are available in a PDF format here.)

Johnny Guitterez

“Let’s go to lunch,” Tracy said, seeing how frustrated I was after discovering that I had miscalculated the distance needed to rough-in a door that I was helping her install in a newly framed wall.

“Fine.  How about chile rellenos?”

“I know this restaurant,” she said, “but I don’t remember the name… down on Southwest Boulevard.  You go past the overpass and then there’s the train trestle… you know?”

I have a clue, but she insists that it is not in the Westside.  “Not that far.”

Tracy and I share some things in common, like getting fatigued and making no sense after only a few hours of working on something.  She has Lyme disease and I have… well, whatever it is I have.

She knows how to get to the place though and gives me directions while I drive us there in my pickup.  “The next light,” she says.

“You mean Summit?”

“Yeah, that’s the name of the street.  Turn left at the light.”

“That’s El Tacquito,” I said, as I turn onto Summit and pull over to park.

Suddenly I am overwhelmed with a sense of loss that I haven’t felt in years.  My throat thickens.  My eyes squint, waiting for the once too-familiar sensation to pass.

Instead I start to sob.  Tracy reaches over and asks what’s wrong.

“This is where I first met Johnny,” and I tell her the story as I gradually regain control.

Many years ago, I met my friend Alfredo for lunch in this very restaurant.  Alfredo knows everyone on the Westside, home to a large Hispanic community in Kansas City.  Our waiter was only 16 or 17 years old, cute as a button and friendly as all get out.  “Johnny’s gay,” Alfredo tells me just before introducing us.

Of course, Johnny was off limits then due to his tender age, but the priest who was bedding him hadn’t gotten that message.

I would drop in to El Taquito for lunch a bit more often than usual after that, but Johnny didn’t work there long.  Johnny had a problem with being reliable.  And with drinking.  And with party drugs.

I met Johnny again about ten years later at the notorious Dixie Belle, a popular gay hangout.  He was as irresistible as ever, but now legal.  And drunk.  And willing to go home with me at 3 am on a weeknight.

When he saw Michael’s picture in the day room, Johnny commented “he’s just my type!”  I led him upstairs, opened our bedroom door and said: “Michael, meet Johnny.”

That was the beginning of one of our most memorable friendships and relationships.  Johnny would wander into and out of our lives for the next few years.  Undependable as ever, but always sweet and loving and a part of our extended family.

We tried to help Johnny several times.  He taught Mexcian folk dancing to barrio youth.  He was good.  We paid for bus tickets for him and his dad to travel to Mexico for a competition.

Our house was a landing pad for people in need for years, but we had strict rules against possession or use of street drugs, and little tolerance for abusive drinking or smoking.  Still, we were pretty laid back and indulged in moderate drinking and even the occasional toke ourselves.

Johnny wasn’t able to control his bad habits though. They controlled him. Maybe that’s why he ultimately tested positive and got sick.  His health declined pretty quickly after his diagnosis.  Maybe a year or two at most.

I remember getting the phone call from his brother on Valentine’s Day, 2001.  Would I come down to Truman Medical Center,  KC’s public hospital, and talk to Johnny’s mom and family?  Johnny’s body was being kept alive on life support machines and they were struggling with deciding what to do.

“Why are you asking me?” I asked Johnny’s brother.  “You know he’s not in that room anymore.”

I’m not God, but by this point in my life I had seen enough death and dying to be certain for myself.  Johnny’s spirit had departed that body some time ago.  When I saw all of those tubes and wires, I recalled a conversation we had had a few months earlier.  One of Johnny’s biggest fears was being kept alive by machines.

I don’t know what their priest had told them, but Johnny’s family knew he was already gone too. I think they just needed someone else to give them permission to do what had to be done and they knew Johnny trusted me.

Johnny’s mom could not bring herself to order that the machines  be disconnected on Valentine’s Day and I’m pretty sure Johnny also understood why his body had to wait one more day.  That is why Johnny’s death certificate reads February 15 instead.

We donated the cemetery lot for Johnny’s final resting place.  We would never buy land to bury our own bodies, but Michael inherited six lots in a beautiful spot in the middle of the city.  Our own ashes will probably be near Johnny again at some point.

I don’t know why my friend Tracy tried to take me to this particular restaurant on this particular day.  It was closed for the day, which seems appropriate somehow.  I do believe in coincidences, but I also believe there is a time to tell every story.

This one’s for you, Johnny.  We miss you so badly.

Lance proposes that the disease affecting so many gay men is actually caused by disruption and destruction of the intestinal tract, or gut.

To read more about Lance’s background in this article written by independent journalist Russell Schoch , published at Reduce the Burden.

Do not miss the links to Lance’s  insightful paper on GRID (Gay Related Intestinal Dysbiosis), which can be found here.

(editorial disclosure:  I consider Tony to be a good friend and we work together as part of the team that operates a new website questioningaids.com)

photoshopped, if you really need to ask.

I grew up in the small farming community of Colby, Kansas.  Until I was 14 years of age, I lived with my father’s extended family on a wheat and hog farm a few miles north of town.  There were so many Barnett families living within a half mile of each other that some people called the place Barneyville.

Growing up I wasn’t a homosexual because that was another term for pedophile and I wasn’t interested in children.

For almost 30 years I wondered when I would meet a gay person from Colby. I knew of Jonathan from mutual friends, but we were never in the same place at the same time. Then I ran into another person, who hopefully will join us here, from an attendee list for a men’s gathering in KS. I saw his name & called him. He saw my name and concluded it couldn’t be me, because there wasn’t anyone else from Colby who was gay.

Welcome to all who join. I too look forward meeting you here…

A facebook account is required to join.  Confidentiality is respected and expected.  Just search “gay folk colby” on your facebook page and send me a request to join.

* Members from nearby rural communities are also welcome to join.

You gotta’ love those glasses!

City council committee hearings here are televised on a local cable channel and more than 12 hours of public testimony given by hundreds of supporters and opponents  at three public hearings were broadcast repeatedly over the course of several weeks.  It ended up being a major media campaign that we could never have purchased and that has undoubtedly helped contribute to making KC a very tolerant city for gays and lesbians in the Midwest.

As co-founder and co-director of the Human Rights Project (HRP), which was formed to introduce and support this legislation, this was one of the most exciting years of my life.  That effort is intertwined with my campaign in 1991 as the first openly gay candidate for city council.

We failed to pass the gay rights law in 1990, I didn’t win that race in 1991. Information gleaned from the results of the campaign did, however, provide incontrovertible evidence of a tangible and powerful LGBT community here that now influences all local elections. Tim VanZandt benefited from demographic analyses we performed and was subsequently elected as the first openly gay state representative in Missouri in 1994.

The at-large race also helped to mobilize and organize enough political clout to ensure that the newly elected 13-member city council and mayor would ultimately pass a gay- and lesbian-inclusive civil rights ordinance in 1993. I suppose one could say the vote was unanimous among the eight council members in attendance, though four members were absent and one voted to allow the vote and then left before it actually took place.

Never mind that American car manufacturers across the board were suffering from weak sales and bloated inventories of gas hogs during an economic recession.

Today, Bloomberg business analysts project Ford may report a 2009 net profit of as much as $2.65 billion.

While Ford has been earning billions of dollars the past year, the AFA website has gone strangely silent about its  boycott, taking credit instead for such things as blocking the nomination of Erroll Southers, to head up the Transportation Security Administration.

AFA is one of the most self-promoting (as well as self-righteous) organizations I’ve ever seen and they do an amazing job of stroking their maghas.

If Ford’s experience is any indication of real world results, manufacturers might want to consider ways to get on the AFA’s shit list.

UPDATE (01/28/2010):

I also posted this on my blog at Open Salon.  A reader comment there by the hetero-pride activist and openly Christian Philos 777 alerts me of the need to update this post.

According to media reports, AFA unilaterally ended their boycott of Ford in 2008, claiming “the conditions of the original agreement presented in fall 2005 have been met.”

I was inspired to write this post for the simple reason that I was unable to find any information about the end of the boycott on the AFA website (google link), and I cannot find any there now.

Still, the end of the boycott was reported elsewhere, and I failed to notice that.  It changes the look of things, but only slightly.

I’m not the only person questioning the effectiveness of the AFA boycott strategy for stoking members and raising millions for the Wildmons in Tupelo.  According to one Business Journal blogger at that time, Ford remains staunchly “pro-gay”, despite the petition rattling and boycott threats.  The writer casts other doubts on the AFA announcement as well.

I would also like to ask Philos:  What happened in the year and a half or so after the boycott ended?  Market trends rarely shift so quickly.

Did millions of AFA members suddenly fulfill their pent up desires to go out and buy Ford products during the middle of a recession after the boycott was over, causing Ford sales to soar?

I didn’t think so either.

Megan Phelps whores Lady Gaga

Related post:  Topeka, Kansas:  The next Jonestown?

]]> http://resistanceisfruitful.com/blog/2010/01/26/westboro-baptist-goes-gaga-on-youtube/feed/ 0 http://resistanceisfruitful.com/blog/2009/12/31/lady-gaga-spoofed-by-the-freaks-at-westboro-baptist-church/ http://resistanceisfruitful.com/blog/2009/12/31/lady-gaga-spoofed-by-the-freaks-at-westboro-baptist-church/#comments Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:36:34 +0000 jonathan http://resistanceisfruitful.com/blog/?p=1598 [...]]]>

Timothy Norris / LA Weekly

Megan Phelps-Roper, a member of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, sings this parody of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”.

I’m not a fan nor follower of the lady, but have heard this song of course, and Phelps-Roper’s parody is a riot!

Click here to follow along with the lyrics.  Link no longer works.  Anyone know where the lyrics are posted online?

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